Cloudless Skies

Summer has begun here in France, at least as far as the weather is concerned. Cloudless blue skies have greeted me every morning this week, making it much easier to get out of bed and go about my business. My business included such things as; Leading the parade as Mickey Mouse's favorite pup. Marching around as a militant green toy. Obeying Captiain Hook's every order (Mr. Smee is quite obedient).

I have officially come to hate the ever so popular super store known as Auchan. The only way to describe Auchan in terms that may be understood by my beloved American family and friends is to call it the French equivalent of Wal-Mart, if every Wal-Mart had a giant grocery store downstairs. I much prefer shopping at the market known as Champion, seeing as how it is much smaller and less overwhelming. I could walk around Auchan for hours without finding everything I need. At least in Champion, to walk from one side of the store to the other in search of honey doesn't leave me too exhausted to go back to the other side for a baguette. I shall do my best to avoid Auchan at all costs, even if it may seem more convenient for one reason or another. I must remember that convenience by locale doesn't necessarily mean an easier shopping trip for me.




The highlight of my week (besides receiving dark chocolate covered pomegranates from my mum) had to be going to the ballet. That's right, my dear friend Katie took myself and her visiting friend Alyssa to the the Palais Garnier, aka the Paris Opera House, to see the ballet. Without a doubt, the Palais Garnier has to be the most amazing building I have ever been inside. As we walked up the grand staircase in the entrance hall, I couldn't imagine it getting any better. But upon entering "our box" and seeing the theatre, I think my heart may have stopped for a moment. I felt like I had stepped back in time. The chandelier, the private boxes. It was like something straight out of Phantom of the Opera (which just so happened to be inspired by this opera house, fyi). As the ballet started and I watched those dancers on that huge stage in that beautiful theatre, I got such a rush thinking about it from their perspective. What a dream come true. To be a part of the audience enjoying the ballet, sitting in that grand theatre, looking at the dancers was wonderful. But to actually be performing on that stage? Looking out into the theatre? Doing what they love doing? They have an even better opportunity to appreciate the beauty.

Honestly, just watching was a dream come true. I had to keep reminding myself to watch the stage, I was so taken by the theatre itself part of me just wanted to look around, take it all in. The experience at the ballet has me even more excited to see more of Paris. I realized there are so many things I don't even yet know about that are sure to blow me away. I didn't really know anything about the Palais Garnier, and it had such a powerful affect. I can't wait to stumble upon beauty after beauty after beauty, discovering more and more things I will remember for the rest of my life.

Solitary

I have the flat to myself all day. My flatmates (only 2, we're down to 3 of us) are working and I have today off. Yesterday I spent my day off in the city with Katie and her friend Alyssa. Today I think I'm just going to take it easy. Go to Champion (the market), load some pictures (I actually took some), maybe even get some laundry done. This is one of the first times in awhile I have been truly alone, we'll see how it goes. Back home, I cherish solitary confinement, but if I have learned anything from being here is that everything is so different, I find comfort and discomfort in very different things than before.

Music and I have such a strange relationship right now. I have always found such comfort in music, thanks in part to the strong emotional connection I have with a beautiful song. Just read my post on our life soundtracks and you'll see a bit of that. Right now music is still very much tied to my emotions, but since many of my emotions are depressing ones, music I would usually find beautiful and stirring now seem to stir me close to tears. I'm finding new meanings to songs I've listened to a thousand times. It's a dangerous game, playing shuffle on my ipod. Russian Roulette with my emotions. So today, I'm gonna make a happy playlist. Music that just makes me want to get up and dance, nothing too closely tied to a memory, just good music standing on it's own, making me smile.

This might be harder than I thought.


Let's talk about yesterday. Paris was sunny, one might even go so far as to say it was hot. I ventured into the city with a few Disney girls and we went to mass at Notre Dame. They went off in search of falafels and I met Katie and Alyssa. I have an aversion to the word "falafel" and as such, also have an aversion to the food. Instead, croissants were consumed on a shady bank of the Seine, a very Parisian sunny Sunday activity. We strolled through the Notre Dame gardens and then Katie took me to an even holier place. Shakespeare and Company, the English bookstore by Notre Dame and my new home away from home. Wall to wall books, old and new, co-mingling in perfect harmony. After putting my nose into as many antique books I could find, we were off to Sainte Chappelle. The sunny day we were having made it perfect to see all the beautiful stained glass. When I reached the top of the stairs and entered the chapel, Katie looked back at me and couldn't help but laugh at my reaction. I may have gasped, in fact, yes, I am sure a gasp was heard by all. After sitting for awhile, taking in the beauty of the Saint Chappelle, we were off again, walking by the Seine, passing Pont Neuf, just taking in the streets of the Paris. A visit to the Louvre gardens ended our day, sitting in the shade sipping Orangina and enjoying the sights and sounds of tourists and Parisians, co-mingling in the sun.



I love the French children. The toddlers and babies. They are so beautiful and carefree. My best interactions with the French thus far have been with toddlers. No language barriers there, just smiles. Smiles meant just for me, to brighten my day.
I feel like I have the most in common with the children of this country. I go where I'm told, when I'm told, and do what I'm told. When I'm not being told what to do, I feel aimless and am unsure what to do, so I find silly ways to amuse myself. I take naps. I go for walks. I daydream. I eat grilled cheese. My vocabulary is probably very similar to that of a 2 year old. I can tell someone when I am hungry or thirsty, and what I would like to eat. I say please and thank you.
Yes, in this foreign place, I am a 3 year old. 3 year olds are allowed to cry when they don't get their way, so I should be to. Don't judge me, I'm just a baby.

Yum Yum Gimme Some

French Food. Aside from the obvious (baguettes, croissants, cheeses, crepes) I have begun to develop a fondness for certain food items not commonly found in the United States.
Here are two I am enjoying at this moment:

By far, the best discovery so far, and possibly ever....Speculoos! Ok, so it's actually Dutch, not French, but I discovered it here in France so it counts. What is Speculoos? It's like peanut butter...but not. Although it is the consistency of peanut butter, it tastes like Teddy Grahams. Good on bread, or just on a spoon, Speculoos will be one item I pack my suitcases full of 8 months from now.


Orangina. Though not only found here in France, it is certaintly more common. Though we buy it in giant 2 litre bottles, each bottle only seems to last a few days in our house. Available at Cafe's and restaurants all over, it's a refreshing alternative to soda and/or coffee, both of which I try to avoid.

Other than that, my diet thus far is much like that of an American bachelor. Bacon is my go-to food. Just ask my roommates, if I am cooking in the kitchen I can almost always be heard to say "oh, this would be good with bacon" and in it goes. My absolute favorite thing is to throw fresh green beans, bacon, salt, and garlic in a pan with a little olive oil, heat it all up, and consume. Usually alongside a bacon sandwhich or grilled cheese. If I'm feeling really adventurous, I'll make a little pasta and throw my green bean concoction on top of that. I think I've eaten some form of that every night for the past 4 days.

For breakfast I have a bowl of cereal. For lunch, I'm at work, but so far the only things I really like there are the baguette sandwhiches or pizza.

I am officially a single man in his early twenties with no culinary imagination and a limited budget.

Day By Day

I have officially been approved for Ariel AND Mary Poppins. Who knew my life could become even more of a dream than it already was? It will still be awhile but just knowing it is in my future is quite exciting, and helping me remember why it is I am here.

Saturday I went into Paris. I met my dear friend Katie and we walked around the Louvre, had lunch at an Austin Powers-esque cafe on the Champs-Élysées, and stood beneath the Arc de Triomphe. We met a co-worker of mine and I had tea with her and her husband at their tiny little flat in the 20th while Katie had dance class. Mary (the aforementioned co-worker) awoke in me a love for peach tea I was unaware I had, I am forever indebted to her. After that, Katie took me to her place in Corbeils where we made Pad Thai and had a sleepover. Sunday morning my trip to Paris was completed with mass at Notre Dame and my first official French croissant at a little bakery nearby there.

I have decided to spend as much time in the city as I can, even if it is by myself. I don't care if I do other traveling, since only having two days off would make any trip a stressful, fast, and overly-eventful one. I don't do well in that sort of situation, so I will choose returning to a favorite spot or quietly discovering a new one over flying off to spend a few hours in some other country.
These are my 8 months to do what I please with.

I am currently in my bed. That may not seem all too miraculous, but if you knew my internet situation, you would have gasped at that news. That's right, I am stealing internet. I don't know whose, I don't know where it is coming from, all I know is that it didn't ask for a password, and here I am.

Our flat is beginning to feel more and more homey, the girls did an Ikea trip and I hit up Auschan and Maisons du Monde (my new fav) for some room accessories. I'm sure that over the next 8 months I'll accumulate more and more to make these place feel comfortable. Being at Katie's inspired me to make this place my own, it will really make a difference.

Ssssshhhh, Sarah's sleeping. Goodnight world.

French America

Things are looking up.

As most you know, my first weekend wasn't a good one.

Sunday, I hit bottom. Depressed, stressed, sick, starved (but unable to eat). I knew I had to get out the apartment before I went insane, so I thought a walk around the neighborhood would be nice.
When you picture a French neighborhood, what comes to mind?
Not where I live, that is for sure.
Instead, try to imagine a Stepford Wife-esque neighborhood. All the houses are the same, all the cars are the same, every block is the same. I found a little lake, with a walking path around it, and realized later there is another one a few blocks away. It's like a boring American suburb, but not. So I can't even take any comfort from it.
I don't live in France. I live in French America.

However, starting work has been a much needed distraction that is beginning to lift my spirits. The job will be good, keep me busy, happy, active. I just don't know what to do in my free time. It's crazy, this place is one big party. Which is fine, I understand, and I'm sure I'll join in on the fun too, but every night? I physically couldn't do it, I don't know how these people do.

The best part of my week though has to be my visit from Katie. Katie is an old friend of my brother's and a fellow bridesmaid in his wedding to the lovely Brigitte next year. She has been living in France for 5 months and we have been emailing alot. She was a huge help in preparing me, and such a huge blessing.
She came out to visit me and we spent an hour and a half in Disney Village (downtown disney) talking. Katie gave me so much hope, she is like a pillar of strength I can lean on, since right now I have none of my own.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
It will continue getting better.
I will visit the city of Paris and finally feel like I am in France, not just some twilight zone version of America.
I will be a Disney Character and Princess and make European children smile.
I will get internet in my apartment as soon as I have a bank account and life will be so much better.

First few days

I'm not gonna lie.
Totally miserable.

The stress of this whole experience has left me physically unable to do much of anything other than sleep. I can't eat, I just have this overwhelming feeling of nauseau. My emotions are constantly on the surface, the littlest thing sets me off crying. I haven't felt this sick and awful in years, it's really frustrating because I can't get anything done. I don't want to feel this way.
Last night and today I began to feel better, but the stress of me being unable to get a bus pass and my roommate losing her passport took away any energy or appetite I may have had. I know my body is still suffering from jet lag, so that doesn't help. I've slept more than most of the other people here, but am still in worse shape than everyone.

I didn't know missing people could hurt so much.

Hopefully starting work Monday will help me fall into a routine and help me begin to feel more comfortable here. My housemates are awesome, they have been taking such good care of me. Janet, you know Sarah Roberts? My roomie.

There are 4 of us in our apartment. It's pretty nice. Bare, drab, but bigger than I expected.

We are very close to Val d'Europe, the big shopping mall nearby. That is where we got our cell phones, and the best grocery store is there, Aushan. It's humongous. McDonalds is the fancy place to hang out, free wifi and everything.

The countryside here is beautiful, everything is green and lush. The young people are nice, the man who helped me buy my phone thinks I should invite him over for parties, get a french boyfriend, and learn about "the french kiss." A french guy from my apartment complex gave me money to buy my wireless card, because I didn't have exact change.

I miss you all. So much. There are no words. 8 months. Dear Lord. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One breath at a time.

Off we go

It is currently 4:15 am, my mother and I are preparing to leave our hotel room for LAX. I think I've had about 2 hours of sleep. Good, because maybe now I'll be able to sleep on the plane. The hard part will be staying awake for the first 5 hour flight, and waiting to try and sleep through the majority of our second 8 hour one.
I have friends with me. Howard, my trusty ee-pod (as the french would say). Bear, my beloved blankie (don't judge, he's been with me much longer than any of you. ok, not you, Mom). My bible (3-in-one Friend). C.S. Lewis' complete spiritual collection (a light read). My squishy pillow that feels like it is full of rice (I'll hug it and think of you Jan).

To most of my friends out there in this cyber world, au revoir. I will miss you truly, madly, deeply.

To Katie, I will be seeing you soon.